1 June 2026

A few weeks ago we went to my mother’s to sign the Power of Attorney forms. Matilda had arranged everything. While my mother and I were working through the paperwork, she took Lyra for a walk around the block.

The forms are long and complicated. Without Matilda there to manage the process she had arranged, we made mistakes. Signed things in the wrong order. Left sections incomplete. We got halfway through and no further.

When she came back and saw what had happened, she said so.

I got frustrated. Tried to take control of a situation that was already done. It did not help anyone.

On the drive home I told her something I had been carrying for a while: that during the car trips back from work each day, I often cannot take in what she is saying. I am too exhausted. The infodumps, the accumulation of everything she has held onto to tell me, I cannot process them by the time I get to the car. This is part of why the mistakes with the forms happened. I had not absorbed the information I needed.

She was hurt by this. I understand why. Being told that someone you live with is not really listening to you is a hard thing to hear, however true it is.

What I need to do better:

I need to say earlier when I am too depleted to take information in. Not after an incident has happened and we are looking for reasons. Not as an explanation that lands as an accusation. Earlier, and more kindly, so that the people around me know where I actually am.

I need to manage my frustration at the point when things go wrong, not direct it outward. Matilda pointing out that the forms were incomplete was correct. My response to that was not.

And I need to find a way to receive what she wants to tell me, even when I am tired. Or to be honest about the limit without making her feel like a burden for wanting to share her day with me.

These are things I am working on. I do not have them solved yet.